Monthly Archives: May 2010

The Boys Are Back In Town (Part 3)

The Learning Experience

     For those of you that know Southey, Chris (my youngest brother, most famous for his guest appearances on Feel Da Paign’s webcasts), and I, you would definitely point to Chris as the one who cares the most about education, learning, and all that boring stuff. Heck, he has his own blog about those very things. Dull, I know, but he had to do something since we have the sports pretty well covered. With that being said, Southey and I were able to learn a lot from this trip and even enjoy parts of the trip that didn’t involve the Cardinals, Hooters babes, and homeless guys. For me, the educational part of the trip that I thoroughly enjoyed was our trip to the Arch. There, we not only spent time looking at this great monument and discussing whether we could bungee jump off of it, this while Southey was reluctantly checking out a few student teachers from a field trip, but hey, he was still wounded from the Haymaker Katie gave him at Hooters. We also went inside and walked through the museum, not the main reason we went to the Arch, but maybe it should have been. It was like reading a History book about westward expansion, minus the actual reading. There we observed stuffed buffalo, fake talking Indians, and videos about Lewis and Clark (our brother’s of expedition). In all honesty, I really did enjoy it and did not get bored in the least. To add to that, they also put in a new baseball exhibit about the early years of baseball in St. Louis and across America, which we had to check out. The exhibit included everything from a baseball signed by Stan Musial and Albert Pujols, to memorabilia from the 1926 World Series when the Cards defeated Babe Ruth & Co, to an old-school Cardinals hat that Southey was dying to wear. The museum had so much to offer and we happily took in it all. Who knew learning could be so much fun?


      Let’s be honest, If education and I are in a sentence then it’s gotta be a joke. When I hear the word education I head the other direction. I’m not going to give you another history lesson like Derek did, I’m going to give you information that you will need for the real world and that’s how to destroy a hotel room. By the time we were done with that place we had towels throughout the room and empty pizza boxes aplenty. We even moved around the furniture so we could have more room for activities (that is my reference for the day from the movie Stepbrothers if you didn’t already know). I feel bad for the cleaning people that had to step into the danger zone after we were through with it. When Derek uses the facilities, he really uses the facilities if you know what I mean. He gives it 110% every time he steps in there. But we had clothes all over the place and spilled drinks all over the carpet but we only did those things because the hotel charged us a dollar when we used their phone to try to get some grub. They need to have some sign that says if you use our phone we will rip you off because that’s exactly what they did. So if you need some advice on how to dismantle a hotel room just leave me a comment on the website and I will tell you exactly what we did and how we did it.


 The One That Got Away

     This is the fourth and final category on our “The Boy’s Are Back in Town” series. We have taken a look at the good times, the funny times, the times when we got smarter, and now it is a good time to talk about something we would change about the trip. Honestly, the trip was awesome and could not have really been that much better, but as we all know and hear from our moms and Miley Cyrus, “nobody’s (or nothing is) perfect.” This was greatly exemplified by the one and only, Imo’s pizza. Anyone that watches Cardinals games on FSN Midwest will tell you that you see commercials for Imo’s at least ten times a game and you would think it was good, but man was I wrong. Their slogan is “everybody knows it’s Imo’s” and now I have joined that group. If Imo’s pizza was ever present at the same place I was, either the pizza or me would be gone because that stuff is plain awful. Let me explain what happened. It was about noon on Wednesday and I was just getting up, while Southey was drinking his morning coffee and we wanted to get something to eat, yet we didn’t really want to have to walk very far, so we decided to order pizza. We could have gotten Domino’s, Pizza Hut, Papa John’s (which we got later), but no, we had to get Imo’s because the darn commercials made it seem so good. So we got online and checked out their menu and decided that a 17 dollar, extra large pizza would be plenty for us to eat for both lunch and a pre-game snack so we did not have to break the bank on five dollar nachos and hot dogs at the stadium. However, we were wrong; do you notice a theme here? The pizza was average size and though it looked like a delicious Monicals pizza, it was not. The cheese was terrible and had a weird taste. All it made me think about was the Kraft plant that I drive by back in Champaign. So yeah, the pizza was bad, we didn’t even finish the whole thing. Needless to say, we got food at the game for dinner instead and left the remaining pieces of pizza for the cleaning staff at the hotel. There you have it, the one thing I regret from the entire trip. Never again will I eat Imo’s and as Southey described above, the pizza from hell is to blame for my all out effort in the facilities.


      This topic was an easy choice for me. It was not bringing our beloved Xbox 360 and NHL 10. But Derek let me know about everyday by saying “hey do you know what would be fun right now? If we had an Xbox so we could play videogames”. So for that I’m sorry Derek for not bringing the Xbox. I’m really not even sure why I didn’t bring it. Maybe it was my fear that my baby would get stolen or that the hotel TV would not have the right hook ups. But when it comes to Derek and I playing videogames it always ends up with the same ending and that is SOUTHEY WINS and PIPER CRIES. So really Derek should be thanking me for saving his trip because if I would have brought the Xbox one of us might not have come back to Champaign alive. Man what a trip!



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The Boys Are Back In Town (Part 2)

This has nothing to do with the trip, but surprisingly we don't have many pictures together, so this will have to do


     First of all, sorry for not posting this sooner, Southey and I have been busy participating in a plethora of fun summer activities like golfing, watching the Cardinals beat the Cubs (two out of three aint bad), umpiring for future studs (which I will go into further detail about on an upcoming post), and all other things that come with summer. Anyways, we wanted to have a lot of fun with post, which would be fitting given all the fun we had on the trip. The first part that was posted a couple days ago and pretty much recapped what happened while we were at the ball park. Now that’s all good, but anybody could watch Sportscenter and find out how the games turned out, granted they would not have known about the Marlins fan doing his best

Coach Brigma

Coach Brigma impersonation from Rookie of the Year (a Feel Da Paign favorite), but we wanted to give you an inside look at the trip that you couldn’t see on ESPN without Rachel Nichols following us around, which I would not mind. Nevertheless, here is the St. Louis trip from Southey’s perspective and Piper’s perspective (speaking of which, check out my brother’s new blog titled Piper’s Perspective,

The Funniest Part of the Trip

     Wow, this is an easy choice. I did mention it on Twitter a bit but in case you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the scoop. As some of you know, we went down to St. Louis on a Monday but we did not have tickets for that night’s game against the Nationals. Our plan was to get there, go get something to eat downtown, and watch the game either in our room or at a restaurant. Anyways, six o’clock came around on that first night and we were pretty darn hungry and wanted to eat some where that had quality food, a good atmosphere, but wasn’t too heavy on the wallet, so what did we do? Oh yeah, we went to Hooters. The downtown St. Louis Hooters was about a four minute walk from our hotel, which was really nice. I mean I haven’t been within such a close proximity to so many good looking girls since…. school got out a week before. However, what I witnessed at Hooters was not something you can see everyday on a college campus. You need someone like Southey. Alright, so here’s how it went down. After about fifteen or twenty minutes of waiting and coming to the conclusion that the Hooters girls in Champaign have much more depth on their roster, not just a few superstars and then some scrubs, we were finally seated. Luckily, I would say we got the Lebron of this Hooters, a big upgrade for Jake especially after seeing the females on the highway (read Piper and Southey = Lewis and Clark if you don’t know what I’m talking about), and maybe that’s why Jake folded under pressure. Here’s the convo…

Katie: Hey guys, can I interest you in a 40 oz Corona?

(Picture me looking right at Jake, showing him that he could answer that question, and unfortunately the brave man took the bait)

Southey: Umm….. sure.

(For a second I was like wow, this is gonna be sweet. That was until she asked the follow up question)

Katie: Okay…. Can I see your ID?

(Man, she got him and Jake did the best he could to not look like an idiot but he was trapped.)

Southey: Umm… (semi checking his pockets) I don’t have it on me.

(You can’t help but feel bad for a man who just got owned like that)

Katie: Oh….. then what do you want?

Southey: I’ll have a water with lemon (in his best Richard Simons voice).

      No, I’m just kidding about that part. He did just end up asking for a water but not in the way I just stated, though I still tell him that’s what he said. But yeah, it was absolutely hilarious and we laughed about the rest of the trip and even today. I don’t blame him too much as it was a brave thing for him to do, especially at a place where it is not hard to lose focus, no thanks to Katie. All in all, it was easily the most I laughed the whole trip.


      The funniest part of the trip for me included two of my favorite things in the world- Hardee’s and a Homeless guy. Tuesday afternoon Derek and I went to the Hardee’s right down the street from our hotel just to grab a quick bite before we walked to the Arch. As we were eating, a homeless guy comes in and sits down at the table right next to ours. He proceeds by asking people for money so he could buy a drink because he was really thirsty. People were turning him down one by one until a guy finally gave him a dollar. He then asked me for some money and I respectfully told him that I didn’t have any cash on me and then he walked out and headed down the road. But, unfortunately me and Derek ran into him as were walking to the Arch after Derek just downed one of the nastiest mushroom burgers I have ever seen.(and he didn’t order a mushroom burger, that’s the funniest part about it). So he asks for money again and Derek and I both had about 80 cents that we decided to give him. But this homeless guy was a greedy mug and told us to pull out our wallets and look for more money. He said if he got a dollar from both of us then he could get the rest which I found totally hilarious. I wasn’t about to pull out my wallet because I’m always rolling deep with money and then Derek pulled out his phone and said this is all I have and I thought for sure the homeless guy was going to say “I’ll take it” but he didn’t. The worst part about it is we had too sit and wait for the crosswalk light to come on so we could get away from the homeless guy that wanted to take us for everything were worth. Homeless people—you definitely can’t live with them but you sure as hell can’t live without em.


*We are working on the third and final part now and will get it up as soon as it’s done.

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The Boys Are Back In Town (Part 1)

     It was just one week ago today that Southey and I were enjoying a beautiful day in St. Louis, but like any vacation, it unfortunately came to an end. We have been back for about five days now and have had time to digest (our thoughts and that awful Imo’s pizza) and look back at the great times we had in the STL. Now, it’s easy for us to look back and laugh at all the fun times of the trip, but what fun is that for our Feel Da Paign faithful? Well, not much and that is why I’m here to give you an inside look at the trip unlike any other.

The Main Event: Obviously, this has to be the three Cardinal games, which was the whole reason for the trip in the first place. Busch Stadium is an amazing place and no matter how many times I go there I feel like I’m seeing it for the first time. Yeah, I know that sounds corny and sappy and probably something you would hear a guy say to a girl in a love story, but it’s true. The fans are great and the atmosphere is unbeatable. Sorry Cubs fans, but as much as I like peeing on a wall in your so-called bathroom (notice how I said bathroom, meaning one. It’s just too complicated to have multiple restrooms at a ballpark I guess) and having to wear anti-itch cream in case I get  infected by the poison ivy in the outfield, I’m going to have to put Busch Stadium a step ahead in my book. So there’s my Cubs bashing for the day, now on to the games.

     Monday night, Southey and I did not attend the game. We instead ate fine cuisine, which I will talk about later, and watched the game from our hotel room. However, Tuesday we were in attendance for probably the most exciting part of the trip.

From our seats on Tuesday

With seats just beyond the left-center wall, we witnessed Chris Carpenter throw a 118 pitch gem, which looked to have been ruined by an Ian Desmond RBI, tying the game 2-2 in the top of the 8th. That was until the man of the night, Ryan Ludwick, blasted a shot that landed just one section to our left, putting the Cardinals ahead 3-2. Franklin   shut the Nats down in the 9th, we all sang “Go Cards Go”, and went back to the hotel happy.

Last out of Thursday's game

     Wednesday was not so fun. Rain was in the forecast and unfortunately the Weather Channel was right. On the night we were one section left of dead center, the rain was falling and the Redbirds looked like they didn’t want to get wet. In very dull game for Cardinals fans, the Marlins came away with the victory 5-1. The only fun we had was watching the Marlins fan in front of us imitating Rookie of the Year and Angels in the Outfield. Thursday, the trip was coming to an end but we had to see our boys in red one more time and they did not disappoint. Lead by Matt Holliday’s two doubles and an Adam Wainwright performance, the Cardinals fought off the fish 4-2.

* Sorry I had to break this up into 2 parts, but there is a lot to say. I will put up the second part hopefully later tonight.

-Derek Piper

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Buffy the Shark Killer

Hawks 3, Sharks 2

     Prior to the 2010 Stanley Cup Playoffs, not many people could tell you who the big, 265 pound forward on the Blackhawks was, but that has quickly changed. With his hat trick in Game 3 against the Canucks and now his game winning goal tonight, Big Buff is on everyone’s radar and he very well should be. Tonight’s game marked the fourth straight time the Blackhawks took the ice and Byfuglien put a puck through the net. This coming from a guy who only scored 17 goals all season and is now a major threat when he is on the ice. Call him Mr. Clutch, a PTP’er (as Dick Vitale would say), or Big Game Bluff, but this guy is for real. Watch out Olin Kreutz, but Big Game Bluff has effectively challenged you as the most popular man above 260 pounds in Chicago.

     Big Bluff will be the star tonight, but as anyone who watched the game will tell you, it was a total team effort. Antti Niemi was great yet again, stopping 44 shots, including five big ones in OT. Niemi has been yet another pleasant surprise for the Blackhawks this postseason, being a brick wall in front of the nets night in and night out. There is no doubt that the Hawks would not be where they are at if it wasn’t for the stellar play of their goalie.

     Mr. Consistent, aka. Jonathan Toews, also showed up in Game 3 and was, well… consistent. Toews is without question one of the best centers in the NHL, despite being only 22 years old. He is a great passer, can score when needed, and also is great on the defensive end. This playoffs, Toews has done all three and added two more assists to his unbelievable stats the past month. With his two points in tonight’s 3-2 victory, Toews has scored a point in the last 12 games the Hawks have played this postseason and has shown no signs of stopping now. He has been the engine for Chicago, allowing guys like Dustin Byfuglien to emerge.

     Other major contributors included Dave Bolland, aka the Rat, who made the beautiful pass from behind the net to Big Buff for the game winning goal. Bolland also continued to play great defense on Shark’s star, Joe Thornton, who has yet to score a goal against Chicago. Patrick Marleau managed to pick up the slack tonight scoring both of San Jose’s goals, but it was not enough.

     Both teams will meet again in Chicago on Sunday for Game 4, and while the series is not officially over, I just don’t see the Hawks losing. They’re too strong, too deep, and have a goalie who is playing like a beast. If I were a betting man, I would say this one ends on Sunday and Chicago returns to the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 1992.

-Derek Piper

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Piper & Southey = Lewis & Clark??

     It is said that history always seems to repeat itself and as we have seen throughout history, that statement is usually true. Dictators ruling over large masses of people, athletes breaking records that some said would never be broken, two men setting out on an adventure to the unknown land west of the Mississippi, all seem to come up now and again in the world and today is no exception.

     Let me first start off by giving you a short history lesson (I did just finish taking History 142: The History of Western Civilization since 1660, which in no way will help to explain what I’m about to say, but oh well.) Way back in 1804, two men by the names of Lewis and Clark took off on an expedition across the Mississippi River to explore land that many in America did not have any knowledge about. Yeah, I know it’s hard to imagine just how long ago that was, but here’s a trick that I used to put it in perspective. The Cubs have not won a World Series in about 100 years, long time right? Now take that humongous timeline and double it in size and there you have it, an eternity ago. Today, history is being recreated as Southey and I make our way to the STL. With that being said, just as it was quoted in Austin Powers, “we’re not so different you and I.” Allow me to explain to you what I mean.

     The Mission: Lewis and Clark were sent by Thomas Jefferson to scope out “the West” and to help develop an accurate map of the United States so that the citizens would have better knowledge of what was beyond that flowing body of water that would one day be famous for river boat casinos and a McDonalds on water. Our mission is not much different. Just as Lewis and Clark did, we enter St. Louis with a very meaningful and important mission. Okay, actually our missions are nothing alike. We’re here to sit back and enjoy ourselves while attending Cardinals games and eating fine cuisine at places like Hooters, but I can assure you that there are many similarities between the four of us.

     The Female Species: Though I do not know for sure, thank you useless history class, I believe that Lewis and Clark and the rest of their crew banked on having a good time with the Native American women that occupied the area at the time. After a long day’s travel, men did what men do, which includes “spitting game” (a slang term for flirting, talking, or conversing with women in an attempt to catch their attention and enjoy the night with them, that courtesy of the Feel Da Paign dictionary) to females, and as was the case in 1804 for Lewis and Clark, these women were Native American. As for Southey and I, we’re just not that picky. In fact, as I am writing this right now and Southey is taking us to “the promised land”, we have successfully broke a record in the Guinness Book of World records for passing and being passed by one car. I swear, we passed them or they passed us at least fifteen times in a matter of less than two hours. But hey, the car was being operated by two girls who looked to have been of similar age.

yeah, in Southey's dreams

As annoying as it was, the girl driving was somewhat hot, but the person in the passenger seat was not so appetizing and was also sporting a David Beckham jersey, so… we’ll just say that was Southey’s girl since he likes soccer more than I do anyway.

     Fears: As in any expedition, there were fears that Lewis and Clark faced and a few that we are currently facing. Lewis and Clark feared for their lives as they knew no more than anyone else about what was beyond that big body of water. Were Native American tribes going to capture them and torture them? Would they run out of food and starve to death? These are things that they just did not know. Likewise, we are worrying about a few things. First, the hotel says that you must be 21 to check in, but unfortunately I am not 21 and though his facial hair may lead you to believe otherwise, Southey is not 21 either. See our dilemma? What’s going to happen when we go to check in? Are they going to ask us how old we are? Should we wear reading glasses and Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts to make them think we were born back in the late 80’s instead of 1990? Other fears include but are not limited to: the Cardinals losing all three games we attend, we get mugged walking around the Arch, Southey gets kicked out of Hooters for asking the waitress to touch his guns, the rooftop pool will be closed, or as Southey is constantly afraid of, “circus people”.

     There you have it, put Southey and I right next to Lewis and Clark in the history books. In all seriousness, we will be attending Cardinal games on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and are planning on watching tonight’s game at the local Hooters. We have arrived at the hotel and were able to check in successfully. It should be a good time, I will be Tweeting as the trip goes on. If you need either one of us before Thursday, like our good friend Nelly said, “you can find me in St. Louie.”

-Derek Piper

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     Excuse all of my excitement, but I have just completed my last final exam and am officially on Summer Break. As you may have noticed, school has been getting in the way of me giving Feel Da Paign its well deserved attention, but that problem is now over. Cory, to your enjoyment I will be getting pied in the face within the week. Southey and I are going to St. Louis on Monday to watch the Cardinals for three games. Jealous? Yeah, you probably should be. Anyways, it’s good to be back. I will for sure be getting some stuff up before our journey to the STL. Until then, Peace.

-Derek Piper

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